What?! (I'm at a loss for words with tears in my eyes)

Anything that doesn't fit into other topics goes here!
:!: Please note: Again, bots have pushed this to the top. Reply as you see fit, but be aware of that. I'm assuming a certain company, you know, the one, that not only makes music equipment like stage pianos, but also motorbikes and starts with a "Y", was part of the keywords they react to.

I just searched for something relating to Yamaha keyboards, when I stumbled on this thing I know very little about and have no intention of purchasing. It's called "YAMAHA Soundfonts Pack SF2", which might seem pretty simple, but the description is something else. I'm guessing it's a bad translation or something? Honestly I have no idea. For all I know I could be making fun of the most reputable place on the internet (well probably not). If you want to check it out yourself, click here: https://www.5starloops.com/yamaha-soundfonts-pack-sf2/, but either way here are some highlights if you don't want to give some random website clicks just because of a funny description:
Download instant YAMAHA Soundfonts Pack SF2 because it’s the real deal for you, and contains perfect sound design elements for creating modern beats in FL Studio or another programs who reads .wav files. You will receive over a lot quality sounds!
So it's not only the real deal (I'm guessing they meant in terms of pricing?) and perfect for my MP3-Player (which can read WAV-Files!), but I also get not just "a lot" but more than "a lot quality sounds". Amazing! And they reiterate:
Hardware and Software Compatablity: With any instrument or program that reads .WAV files !!!
Note: All sounds are royalty free.
What? What am I paying for? Could I, once I bought it, just distribute this stuff to all my friends shareware style? I mean - It wouldn't be a licensing issue, right? What? (Admittedly I'm not an expert on legal specifics apart from what I absolutely have to know)
What you want more than that?
Honestly I don't know. Is there anything more you could ask for? Maybe a better translation.
We did the hard work for you (for a cheap price) because we want to help you to make modern beats, and to be more proffesional.
You almost got me there, but it really doesn't get any better than trying to look "professional" while completely messing up the word itself.

Yeah, I get it of course, not everyones first language is English and one can comprehend the description well enough. But English isn't my first language either, by the way. But maybe you were equally amused as I was, which would have made the couple of minutes it took me to type out this thread completely worth it.
Sites like these... well.
The first thing with music is that it's this global thing, with many people who can't use English well. musikbear's english, for example: It's clear English isn't his first language. (Take careful note of the fact that his advice is gold all the same, it's a useful part of my analogy here.) There are thousands of people like musikbear, some of whom make sites for distributing sound packs. There are thousands of sites like this where wording is unclear and convoluted. And spelt wrong. I've downloaded quite a number of useful modules from ugly and/or nonsensible pages.

Image
(Or completely UNtranslated pages, heh.)

Have you ever heard of powerful VST Synth1? Try it out. Entire page is in Japanese, but I'll be damned if it isn't versatile.

(The second thing with music, is that it's this huge graveyard that a park's been built over, and while there are some kids falling from the swings and some adults laughing at or shying away from the gravestones in the corner, there will always be more people under the park than in it. It's quite saddening.)

It brings me great pain to say you may have to get used to the fact some pages look unprofessional. It brings me even greater pain to say you'll have to look past this appearance in some cases.
Perhaps the only thing that definitively marks this as a red flag to me, is the fact I have no idea what I'm supposed to be looking at. What does this contain? How's it related to yamaha in any way? You've highlighted the humour I see in that nicely. (The download link directs me to a page that looks like Mega but has a dropbox logo and downloads 7Zip. Think you'd find this amusing.)
(I believe royalty free means you can use it in your videos without having to cough up cash dollars or crediting. This usually applies to music, not samples, so this is sorta funny.)

Have you heard of the Steinberg Product Installer Installer (seriously, it's an installer that installs, well, an installer. From where you can control what Steinberg products you install. And what's more, trying to get any Steinberg software through it can be awkward and off-putting.)? Some things are just that way.


So here's a commentary on parts of the site from me too, because it's been way too long since I attempted to insult anything left right and center.
Download instant YAMAHA Soundfonts Pack SF2 because it’s the real deal for you, and contains perfect sound design elements for creating modern beats in FL Studio or another programs who reads .wav files. You will receive over a lot quality sounds!
After all these years, having finally found the Real Deal with the Perfect Sound Design Elements, you can now create Modern Beats (as opposed to ancient pieces of nonsense), in your DAW FL Studio, the benchmark for being able to make these Modern Beats, with wayyy more than too many Quality Sounds!
Instant Soundfont Pack! Like Instant Coffee, but soundfonts: immediately turns your DAW into a thick(er) bitter brown liquid called Soundfonts.
What you want more than that?
Oh, just a non-spoof download link, not much more. And maybe something that isn't heavily implied to be an Installer Installer rather than an install itself. And maybe the actual installation. Not much.

We did the hard work for you (for a cheap price) because we want to help you to make modern beats, and to be more proffesional.
Thank you! Thank you very much. I highly detest ancient beats that sound like they came from the 1590's, and loathe unproffesionality and despise the idea of jazz musicians existing and scorn upon the idea of a dynamic range, and I feel comforted to know someone understands. Finally! Now that the rando on the net wants me to make modern beats, I shall indeed get to it. Right away.
Monospace wrote:
Wed May 04, 2022 12:32 pm
Sites like these... well.
The first thing with music is that it's this global thing, with many people who can't use English well. musikbear's english, for example: It's clear English isn't his first language. (Take careful note of the fact that his advice is gold all the same, it's a useful part of my analogy here.) There are thousands of people like musikbear, some of whom make sites for distributing sound packs. There are thousands of sites like this where wording is unclear and convoluted. And spelt wrong. I've downloaded quite a number of useful modules from ugly and/or nonsensible pages.
Yeah, very true. I'm just surprised to see these kind of things in product descriptions and such, which, to me at least, feel like a sort of text that would be proofread in some way. Of course there isn't going to be an editor behind our everyday language; nobody has an entire editorial staff behind what they say or write. But if there's only one person running such places, they might not either. I get that.
Monospace wrote:
Wed May 04, 2022 12:32 pm
Have you ever heard of powerful VST Synth1? Try it out. Entire page is in Japanese, but I'll be damned if it isn't versatile.
By chance I actually used it for a while. Thanks for reminding me, because I have nothing but good memories of that thing and will dig it out of my folders now.
Monospace wrote:
Wed May 04, 2022 12:32 pm
(The second thing with music, is that it's this huge graveyard that a park's been built over, and while there are some kids falling from the swings and some adults laughing at or shying away from the gravestones in the corner, there will always be more people under the park than in it. It's quite saddening.)
That hit harder than you might have intended. But rightfully so. As an amateur myself, I should remember that.
Monospace wrote:
Wed May 04, 2022 12:32 pm
(The download link directs me to a page that looks like Mega but has a dropbox logo and downloads 7Zip. Think you'd find this amusing.)
I do. I also wonder what's the point of setting up a website for files if it doesn't have it's own way of well, hosting said files. And if one is supposed to pay (which the description seemed to confused about as well), couldn't they not simply avoid that once they have the link to the file?
Monospace wrote:
Wed May 04, 2022 12:32 pm
Have you heard of the Steinberg Product Installer Installer (seriously, it's an installer that installs, well, an installer. From where you can control what Steinberg products you install. And what's more, trying to get any Steinberg software through it can be awkward and off-putting.)? Some things are just that way.
I've read about that whole mess. Installing products like Dorico (which I have no intention of purchasing either, as long as there's MuseScore, but I got curious about when it was first revealed) seems to be quite cumbersome. Sometimes the most "proffesional" are also the most uneccessarily complicated. Some of it may be related to their DRM systems? Which of course also hurt customers more than anyone trying to pirate their software.
OP, I hardly think skirting around the word will stop bots unless you put * * in between each letter. There are all sorts of triggers for all sorts of bots.
It looks like they grab random words and scour the internet for information about the words, then plug their promos into it somehow. Notice how this is a bestessays advertisement [:
Monospace wrote:
Fri May 13, 2022 12:28 pm
OP, I hardly think skirting around the word will stop bots unless you put * * in between each letter. There are all sorts of triggers for all sorts of bots.
It looks like they grab random words and scour the internet for information about the words, then plug their promos into it somehow. Notice how this is a bestessays advertisement [:
I guess lets not mention that one specific company that still shall not be named (<- maybe we'll do it like this? :lol: ) again then. Also the web-page thing about the creation of a type of text commonly given as assignments in most school systems seems to be quite a favorite among bots, I've seen it more often than anything else.

Okay, enough joking. (I mean, I'm the one mentioning everywhere how bots have pushed the thread back to the top, so maybe I shouldn't do the same thing with amused replies. Oh well...)